1. |
Drag the River
03:14
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I dug the hole that turned into my grave
Carved out the riverbed where my head lays
I found nirvana hiding in this hell
Paved the narrowest roads
I’ve never loved myself
It’s been so long since I’ve felt something real
Tried to recover but the wounds won’t heal
I’m scared to death of crying out for help
Because change only comes
from deep inside the well.
(falling inward)
What if life is only a nightmare?
(Falling short of fantasy)
Will I daydream of falling asleep?
(Maybe I could rest in peace)
(falling inward)
My nostalgia’s all that keeps me warm
All my regrets come from the hive in swarms
I grew to love the sting of feeling alone
While it tore at my soul
And ripped apart my home
These are the hands that wrap around my neck
I am the fracture on the mirror’s edge
I am the poison rushing through my veins
I will say it again
The ending starts with me
(falling inward)
What if life is only a nightmare?
(Falling short of fantasy)
Will I daydream of falling asleep?
(Maybe I could rest in peace)
(falling inward)
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2. |
In Ecstasy
03:50
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I want to feel you underneath my skin
Sink your teeth in, tell me -
Do you feel the same,
When the walls are closing in?
All your patience wearing thin
Is your only fix the climax found
When you first let me in?
The pleasure, the pain
Oh, it all feels the same.
Tie me down
Take me hostage
Choke me out
Cut me deeper
Watch me bleed
Violence, in ecstasy
It’s bittersweet
Watch me float away here in the dark
I feel you shaking
An earthquake whispering -
“Could this be the end?”
Place your hands upon my neck
Now, the room is spinning
Vision’s blurring
Bodies caving in.
Let’s take the plunge together
Hide forever
Lost beneath the noise
The pleasure, the pain
Oh, it all feels the same.
Tie me down
Take me hostage
Choke me out
Cut me deeper
Watch me bleed
Violence, in ecstasy
It’s bittersweet
Watch me float away here in the dark
Pulse under my tongue
Heart is racing
Hand over my mouth
Way too god damn loud
Knocking on the door
Dead bolt locked and we won’t let them in
I think this is the end.
Tie me down
(please don’t stop)
Take me hostage
(uncover my eyes)
Choke me out
Cut me deeper
Watch me bleed
Violence (take my life)
In ecstasy (I want to suffer)
It’s bittersweet
Watch me float away here in the dark
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3. |
Lost in That
03:13
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Pull me out alive
I’ve been terrified
Terrified of everything
That I can be
I’ve been down this road
Feeling so alone
So alone,
I’m sick of living on repeat)
Have you ever heard the silent longing?
When your heart beats inside your chest?
So lost inside of a rhythmic emotion
That pulls you high above the stress
When I go,
I get lost in that
Don’t you know?
It’s the little things that mean the most
Yea I’m shutting off my brain
So baby, here’s a toast
To the moments
Where we cut ourselves
from the ropes
My joy is suspended
in a new found hope
Now I’m soaring, I’m flying
And I won’t deny that
The spark’s been ignited
And I will not fight it
When I go
I get lost in that
Pull me out alive
I’ve been terrified
Terrified of everything
That I can be
I’ve been down this road
Feeling so alone
So alone,
I’m sick of living on repeat
When I go
I get lost in that
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4. |
Nashville
03:28
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I’ve seen how that ring
Shines wild on your finger
Couple years past
Thoughts breathe and they linger
I want you to know
I still live that summer
Pale skin to contrast
Your eyes under covers
We tore it all apart
Before we left it behind
Slammed the door so hard
But we keep falling back in our minds
So why is it so difficult
To talk when it’s done?
Your words betray the front you’re faking
We both come undone
We’ve gone past the point
Of turning around
Though we love how it sounds
We won’t speak the truth
Though it slipped through our hands
It won’t come out our mouths
Who am I kidding?
We’re better off now
I can live with the thought of you
Wearing that gown
From another man’s dreams
That I’m sure you share
And I know that you care
(and I know you won’t admit it)
I Swear to god
This book is closed
(I know you’ll miss me)
Another chapter left untold
(Forever missing you)
We tore it all apart
Before we left it behind
Slammed the door so hard
But we keep falling back in our minds
So why is it so difficult
To talk when it’s done?
Your words betray the front you’re faking
We both come undone
We’ve gone past the point
Of turning around
Though we love how it sounds
We won’t speak the truth
Though it slipped through our hands
It won’t come out our mouths
To hell with the phone calls
And damn all our dreams
Their echoes in canyons
Between you and me
What’s done has been done
The past left us trapped
We’ll live with the memories
And leave it at that.
We’ve gone past the point
Of turning around
Though we love how it sounds
We won’t speak the truth
Though it slipped through our hands
It won’t come out our mouths
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5. |
Waking Dream
03:37
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Here again
I thought I let this go
Time moves slowly
A cancer in the host
Serotonin, dopamine
Little flights of fantasy
Yea, I called it passion
Running blind
What would you do
If you could turn back time?
Nothing’s clear to me, no
Nothing’s clear to me, no
Nothing’s clear
I never thought that I would suffer
But right now I wish that i could die
(now I’m learning that)
Nothing lasts forever
So god damn these hands
That took my life
Holding tightly to everything I know
Is it better to let my demons go?
Do they comfort me, or bury me?
Yea, the line is blurred and i can’t see
Anything that’s good for me
Please, tell me what is right for me
Nothing’s clear to me, no
Nothing’s clear to me, no
Nothing’s clear
I never thought that I would suffer
But right now I wish that i could die
(now I’m learning that)
Nothing lasts forever
So god damn these hands
That took my life
Head held under water
Filling my lungs up with fire
Holding back the whispers
Turned my screams into a choir
Tuning out the noise
Lost beneath the surface
Bury me alive
Drift away from all of this
I never thought that I would suffer
But right now I wish that i could die
(now I’m learning that)
Nothing lasts forever
So god damn these hands
That took my life
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6. |
Younger
04:40
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It’s not my fault
Heaven knows,
I tried to hide the flaws
You spoke to life
In my mind
And fit the mold
Outer appearances
Values and masks
That you sold
But never wore
You never wore
just a child
So Full of hope
Running wild
The future’s gold
Still have the words
That you spoke like a cancer
Burned in my memories
Like cigarette embers
Twisted thoughts and careless actions
Apathetic satisfaction
I’m still the one that you treat like a stranger
Weigh down my spirit with all of this anger
It’s not my fault
I keep telling myself
It’s not my fault
It’s not my fault
Left out in the cold
Locked into feeling erased
But you don’t even know
Who I am
You don’t want to understand
You only see what you want to
As I’m growing older
You’re claiming the high road
Your truth set in stone
And I’m buried under your pavement
A garden choked out by cement
It’s not my fault
I keep telling myself
It’s not my fault
It’s not my fault
Where did my innocence go?
Where did my innocence go?
Where did it go?
Knocked down
And helpless
Was too young to process
The way that you messed with my head
My self image ripped into shreds
It’s all in my head
Is it all in my head?
Trauma like calluses
Memories like blisters
I’m numb to the touch
But your voice is a splinter
That keeps digging under my skin
It keeps digging under my skin
It’s not my fault
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7. |
Party's Over
03:45
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I heard they ghosted you
Severed the ties
Then roped you back
Strapped to the bed
He’s got an empty head
But I know you love it
Like you can control it
A dead man’s hand shake
False feeling
Misleading
Cheap friction
Cold feet
Heart racing
Legs shaking
Lack luster
There’s no meaning
I used to say that
We were suffocating
When we were in love
But now I see
It was too much for you and me
Keep lying
Go ahead and keep lying to yourself
Collecting the dust upon your shelf
You’ve written novels and narratives
Took more than you could give
Say that I’m vain?
It’s a projection of your own conceit
Heaving
Misleading
Cheap friction
Cold feet
Heart racing
Legs shaking
Lack luster
There’s no meaning
I used to say that
We were suffocating
Back when we were in love
But now I see
It was too much for you and me
They’ve got you dancing
Round their twisted fingers
You’re too blind to see
Your demons look a lot like saints
I used to take on the blame
So you wouldn’t feel cornered
Suffered the shame
With the world on my shoulders
Fueled by the threat
Of becoming another
Notch in the bed post
That you love no longer.
I hate to say that I told you so.
I hate to say that I warned you so.
I hate to say that I told you so.
I told you so, I told you so.
I used to say
That we were suffocating
Back when we were in love
But now I see
It was too much for you and me
They’ve got you dancing
Round their twisted fingers
You’re too blind to see
Your demons look a lot like saints
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8. |
Runnin' It
03:40
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Slipped into an hourglass
It’s filling up with sand
It won’t be long before your words
Will choke you out and
Time runs right through your hands
Have you ever had a feeling like
You’re gonna eat the curb?
I’ll shut your mouth
If you keep talking shit
Then you can tell me what you’ve learned.
(I just wanted to say, I just…)
I just wanted to tell you
You might die alone
Running your mouth
You think you’re hot shit?
So why would I want to save you?
You’re not even close
Running your mouth
Running your mouth
Running it.
Spineless instigator
Parasitic waste of life
When all you’re focused on
Is what I’ve got
Can you say that you’re alive?
Stuck inside an endless trove
Of gossip and cheap talk
And maybe everything you’ve heard is true…
Well, what the hell are you gonna do?
I just wanted to tell you
You might die alone
Running your mouth
You think you’re hot shit?
So why would I want to save you?
You’re not even close
Running your mouth
Running your mouth
Running it.
(I just wanted to say, I just…)
What the hell are you going to do?
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9. |
Leave.
03:55
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We started an explosion
Did we do this right?
Flooded eyes, think I lost my mind
Played it back, tried to hit rewind
Kinda feels like a different life
Another useless fight
Looking back I was terrified
Throwing the blame, but was it justified?
We’ve given up, is it just a lie?
And here it goes
You just gotta let me go.
Keep your mind slow
I’ll hold my own
Let me go, let me go
Let me go, let me go
Just leave.
I am not who you think
Every step that I take, I fall
I’ve become what you hate
But I’ve always been this way
You got me caught up in emotion
When did the time go by?
I had a feeling you would lose your mind
Digging a grave to try to reach the light
Never knowing what you thought you’d find
Just to clarify
This wasn’t ever just a body high
Laying it out, I put it on the line
Now I’m feeling like I wanna cry
We knew this would happen
To hell with the warnings
We’re digging ourselves
A new grave
Spending late nights in your bed
And here it goes
You just gotta let me go.
Keep your mind slow
I’ll hold my own
Let me go, let me go
Let me go, let me go
Just leave.
I am not who you think
Every step that I take, I fall
I’ve become what you hate
But I’ve always been this way
I think I’ve lost my senses
I just need one more night
Just one more kiss to seal the wound
I just need one more fight
We’ve run out of all our chances
There’s nothing left to find
Just one more touch to remind me
Of everything that I’m about to lose
Just leave.
I am not who you think
Every step that I take, I fall
I’ve become what you hate
And I just need you to leave
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10. |
Lavender
04:03
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I still hear your voice
Like a tapping on the back door
Footsteps in the hall
See your shadow on the bedroom floor
When you touch me, love
Do you find rest,
Or just pass through?
Haunted by the ghost
Of a lover that I wish was you.
When you kiss me
I feel nothing at all.
When you hold me
I feel nothing at all.
I still hear your laughter
Like white noise that fills the room
Drowns out the silence
And stillness you hated, too.
Visions in my head
Hallucinating, like I see you clear
It was never you, it was never you.
You were never here.
When you kiss me
I feel nothing at all.
When I whisper to you softly
You’re gone.
The cold spots warm this empty home
So surrounded, so alone
Painting pictures in my mind
Lies I tell myself at night
The cold spots warm this empty home
So surrounded, so alone
But every time I lay to rest
I can feel you breathing down my neck
Haunted by the ghost
Of a lover that I wish was you.
When you touch me, love
Do you find rest,
Or just pass through?
Footsteps in the hall
See your shadow on the bedroom floor
I still hear your voice
Like a tapping on the back door
I still hear your voice
Like a tapping on the back door
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The Road to Milestone Lancaster, Pennsylvania
"Everything Ends" : the 3rd Full Length, out NOW
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